Older Child = Hard Work

Adopting an older child is a very hard work for the foster parents. Older children already have a set of values and beliefs and will stick to these beliefs as soon as they can until you explain to them that some these beliefs are actually bad. They have also developed their behaviors and changing them is a little bit difficult compared to a baby wherein they can be taught and nurtured from the start.

Parents of adopted older children have to work hard so that they curb or change the undesirable behavior of their adopted children. It’s not a cute situation like what you see in heart warming stories on TV but it’s a struggle that is fueled by love and patience.

Helping the Child Adjust

When the older child arrives in your home and has settled down, the first thing that you should explain to your adopted child is that they are, well, adopted. There is no point of hiding it from them and explaining it to them in later stages is a little bit difficult. But remind your adopted child that you will love him or her and will be there to help when they grow up.

You’re very lucky if the child will accept it as it is and will accept you but if resentment is felt, don’t give up. Just be patient and they will realize what a great favor that you did for them. Sometimes they will be aggressive in saying, “you’re not even my real parent”. This statement may hurt, you but instead of showing anger, show your compassion and inform your adopted child that you are still there to love and guide them.

Discipline

One of the first things you should enforce in your house for your adopted child is disciple. Observe your adopted child’s behavior and take note what their worst behavior is and start disciplining your child from there. It is never pleasant but you have to be stern in this aspect. Your adopted child should learn from you and follow you. You can give your child consequences and punishments if they continue their behavior but of course, you also have to reward them if they stick to their good behavior for sometime.

Catching Up

The behavior of a child is oftentimes affected by regression in behavior. Although your adopted child is six years old, they might have the mind of a five year old or even four. The adopted child may also be lacking of affection and they grew up without any hugs or kisses. Be sure to catch up with these so that they can grow normally.

You might need the help of a therapist for this but if you see your kid adopting and maturing fast according to their age, a therapist is not necessary.

By helping your child adjust, teaching him or her discipline and catch up on their age appropriate behavior, you should be able to raise a responsible child who will become an asset of the community.