The kids will have to deal with a lot of emotional pains in a divorce. Unfortunately, 50% of the marriages end up in this situation and the kids will have to bear the burden of being supported with a single parent. Kids should grow up with all the care they could get from their father and mother.

 It could be possible that only one of the parents could take care of the kids but it’s not the same – and never better than the care provided by a mom and dad. The couple might have the convenience of filing for a divorce and go on with their lives without even thinking about their exes a little bit but the kids will always have emotional attachment that will scar them for the rest of their life.

By law, you should be the one to take care of the kids. Although a mother’s love is always the same as with the father’s, the natural caring characteristic of the mother is more important to the kids. Since they’ll be staying with you, it’s up to you as a mother to explain why you and your husband have to separate permanently.

 Young adults should know more and might have the ability to grasp the situation, but the younglings will always be confused with this process. To them, you and your husband are a couple and should stay that way to help him or her grow up to be a better individual someday.

There is no perfect formula for mothers and parents to use so that they could explain divorce to their kids without hurting them. But best practice so far is to be honest to your kids about the situation. Telling them lies will never work and would even have adverse situations.

Even if they are just little white lies, the kids will always be looking for their dad and ask you when will they come back. Instead of going around the bush and letting them down in the end, its better to tell them upfront about the situation. I’m not saying that you tell them about the really bad things about the relationship but you just have to tell them that you and your husband are no longer together. Expect that it will be very confusing to them so you have to explain subtly about the situation.

But you don’t just stop there; you have to remind them that even though these things are happening, the love and care that you and your ex-husband will still the same. After all, in the midst of all these, they are still your kids and have the right to all the love you and your ex-husband could give. You and your former –half will still be dedicated to the welfare of their development.

An honest situation with the reassurance that the most important things for them will stay the same could help the kids understand divorce – at least in their own perspective. Just make sure that your former husband explains the same to them.

Sometimes there are kids who think it’s their fault that you are separating. Assure them that it’s not true and they are still loved no matter what.As much as possible, explain to the kids the legal process of divorce. You might be locked in an intense custody battle for your kids. Be sure to explain to them about the situation.

Again, be careful with what you say. Do not bad mouth your former husband in front of your kids. This will give them an impression that the family they came from is a bad one. This will be a devastating blow for them especially for their self-esteem. All then need to know is there is a legal process and everything should be just fine.

Of course you have to understand that they will be resenting the fact that you are no longer together. This is why patience is a very important part in any parent’s life. They have to be honest with what they have to say and be patient that their kids will understand it someday. Forcing the issue will never yield anything good. Slowly they will understand the situation and eventually adapt to their new environment.

Last but not the least, seek help from professionals. There are professionals in the field that knows more about the devastating effects of divorce on kids. Somehow they could offer advice on how you could break the story or activities that will help you and your kids go through the struggle of adopting to a new life.

Kids will always be at the losing end of divorce and as mothers we have to show utmost care for them more than ever. As of now, you are the only person who knows how to talk and help them understand why all these are happening and why they should never be afraid because you are still there.